this week has been really weird. there have been two weeks in a row where I didn’t have any hours at work, and last week I wrote a lot, and read stuff, and felt all accomplished. this week I barely wrote anything? I mostly just lay on the couch and watched tv, which I sort of feel bad about. but it’s also been two straight weeks of sleeping alright, eating alright, and not feeling nauseous. this week I even hung out with friends a lot. that’s at least as important as writing anything, maybe more so. if I’m creating things, but feeling miserable, that isn’t good. ideally there’d be some sort of balance, where I can do work I’m proud of and have my health. but I need to slow down and remember that health on its own is something to celebrate and appreciate. I’ve done a lot of being sick but still feeling alright about my life cause I managed to get some writing done. that was good, that helped — there were days when I was sick all morning, miserable all afternoon, but managed to put some words together before bed, and that made the whole day worthwhile. I need to recalibrate so days where I do nothing but feel good are valued too.
plus, it’s not like this week was a waste. I watched all of Making a Murderer. I started knitting another hat. my cat slept on my chest for hours. that’s enough.